You Got This Mom
Being a mother is hands down the hardest job you’ll ever have. Not only that, it is a job that can be thankless, relentless, and all consuming. As a mom I have learned a handful of things on my brief and amazing journey being a mother, and these are my top 8 lessons that should be shared and practiced with all mothers.
1. Be Selfish
To be clear, when I say, this I do not mean spend your grocery money on getting your nails done…
When I say this I mean take care of yourself. I know we hear a lot about self care, but I cannot stress this enough. You CANNOT be the best mom to your kids without being the best version of you first.
Take the time to think about what you need. Be purposeful and intentional. Figure out something to do for you, (that is feasible in your life) and take the time to do it. Maybe that is a bath? A walk alone? Maybe it’s even your job? Do it for you, and do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself!
You would be surprised how much more patient you are with your kids. And how much you actually enjoy being around them when you take some time for you too. It ok to be selfish because you have earned it
2. Stop Mom Shaming
You know that saying, “someone’s always fighting a battle you cannot see?” That becomes more and more true the older you get. Mom’s most certainly fit that bill. They are carrying the emotional load of not only themselves, but also their children.
As a culture we tend to judge other moms when they do things differently than ourselves.
Let’s change that.
Trust that that mom is doing what is best for not just her child, but also for her whole life. You don’t get to know all the details that go into making that decision.
For example: The baby whose parents let them cry it out, and the baby whose mom stayed up holding them for hours at a time trying to get him/or her to go to sleep, will both likely turn out to be successful adults.
That’s the goal right? Support other mothers in raising successful adults. Understand that there is no wrong way to do that, but also, that there is no right way either.
3. Set Your Own Standards
STOP comparing yourself to other moms.
If you can lay your head down at night and your children are alive, Girl, you did your job. And some days, that is as much as any of us can hope for!
I have learned is that I am my own worst enemy on this one. I have to set my own standards. Some standards are hard, but some are negotiable. The beauty is, you get to decide for your own life!
For example: There are a few things in my house that have to get done: Laundry and Dishes. That’s it. Now there are some caveats to those. The laundry has to be cleaned, not put, away because seriously, my son does not care if his clothes are wrinkled. The dishes are done but, I am totally guilty of waiting until that sink is piled higher than I am tall before starting that endeavor.
Everything else in my house is negotiable. Here are some realistic confessions:
- My kids have gone more days than they should without baths.
- We have mac and cheese some days for dinner because I HATE fighting with my toddler
- The toothbrush battle is my least favorite, and sometimes i “forget”
- I love when my house is clean, but I love it more when my toddler is not having a tantrum- so sometimes I say… bring on the mess!
4. Forgive Yourself
Here is another confession for you.
I don’t love being a mom 100% of the time.
Please don’t misunderstand, I am 100% in love with my tiny people. They occupy a huge portion of my life, my love, and I would never ever change that. But it is ok to not love when your toddler throws a tantrum in the grocery store, or to not love a teenager who is snotty and back talks.
For you new moms, it is ok that you and your baby have to develop a love for each other. You literally meet this person on the day they are born. They change your life. It is ok not to have love at first sight.
Don’t worry, they grow on you 🙂
5. Let It Go
Honestly some battles are just not worth fighting and there may be a day when your kid wears two different shoes to story hour because, is it hurting her??
As a mother, you don’t get to control every part of your life anymore. That is sometimes a really hard thing. Channel your inner Elsa and “Let it go, Let it go…” You will be able to enjoy your children and your life a little more if you try not to sweat the little stuff.
NOTE: This is all easier said than done, but this one in particular takes ACTIVE work on my part.
6. Focus On Your Successes
Seriously, when you are excited that your kid ate a piece of broccoli without the world imploding… CHEERS TO YOU Mom! It’s all about the little things. Enjoy the successes and learn from the things that can be done better.
7. Your Babies, Your Choice
This is what I mean. If you want to share how great it is that your toddler is finally potty trained you go girl! Shout it from the rooftops! If you prefer to never share a picture of your child, that’s your choice too.
With social media we have the choice to share our babies, or not. It is your call. I will refer you to number 2 in this post. Don’t mom shame someone else for making a different choice!
8. Be Gracious
Finally, and maybe most importantly, be kind to yourself. This is the hardest and most rewarding thing you will ever do. There are days you will feel completely overwhelmed.
Be kind to yourself. Know that you are doing your best every day. Show up for your kids. They will not remember if you made perfect Pinterest ready cookies for every birthday. They will not remember if you fed them homemade baby food, or if you fed them pizza before they had teeth. Odds are they will not even remember if your house was dusted.
You can do this. On the days that are tough just remember that you can do this. You are not alone. You can do this!
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